IRONMalaise

I was going to write something about nine weeks ago...this is as far as I got.

So, last October, my attempt at a redemption race that would put me back on the road was sidelined by a bomb cyclone. Ironically, after that deluge of rain, California has been pretty dry. I am about eleven weeks from the event that was canceled last year and I am struggling.  

Just a bit of rain in 2021

And that was the end of that post. Actually, I can't call it a post because I didn't post it. I just left the words to stagnate in draft status. The sad thing is that I used to really enjoy writing my blog. This year, though, something is definitely different. 

Last week was the IRONMAN World Championships in Kona. Something that I used to dream about being able to do. Normally, I would be devouring all the posts and photos about the competitors and their bikes and the race. This year I found myself scrolling by with out even much of a pause. I have even less interest in the race I am supposed to do in about 2 weeks and this is causing concern. The Facebook posts about IRONMAN California seem to cause me a lot of anxiety, so I've been trying to avoid looking at those too.

Back to this post, I was going to start off by saying I am struggling with a feeling of malaise, but since I wanted to make sure I was using the term correctly, I looked it up. 

The dictionary definition says:

ma·laise

/məˈlāz/

Learn to pronounce

noun

a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify.

"a general air of malaise"

The definition didn't seem to exactly fit how I was feeling but it seemed close so I kept looking until I found something on WebMD. 

"If you have a sense of malaise, you may not feel quite right, but you might be hard-pressed to put your fingers on exactly what's bothering you. It's not a condition, but a set of symptoms linked to some other problem. When you're in the grip of it, you might have fatigue, pain, and a lack of interest in your usual activities."

Ok, here's my list of symptoms:

• Uneasiness - CHECK (I have an IRONMAN in two weeks!)
• Fatigue - CHECK  (I have an IRONMAN in two weeks!)
• Pain - CHECK  (I have an IRONMAN in two weeks!)
• Lack of interest in usual activities - CHECK (But I have no idea why.)

The last symptom is the one that bothers me the most. What happened to my interest in training? What happened to my interest in triathlons? What happened to my interest in writing my book?

My triathlon based novel has gone untouched for several weeks

These are all things I used to enjoy and now it's all I can do just to get through a workout. I think I'm mentally worn down from basically two years of training and no reward. After last year's race was canceled due to the weather, I switched gears to running for a few months and that helped take my mind off of triathlon training. Eventually, I restarted my IRONMAN training plan and was less than enthused. 

ILLNESS & INJURY

Of course, during this second round of IRONMAN California training, I caught COVID and was down for a bit (I completed a post about my COVID experience but never posted it. LOL It is now posted HERE). The marathon I was training for had to be done virtually because I was still testing positive. 

Then in June I managed to break my pinky toe which kept me from running for a bit (I did put in a lot more time on the bike trainer though).

Last but not least, with only three weeks to go, I stepped of a curb, twisted my ankle and foot and somehow managed to scrape up the top, bottom and side of one hand. The hand looked worse in the beginning, but the foot definitely felt worse. I've been moving my workouts around to buy me a little more time before I attempt running again but there is still a noticeable pain in the arch of my foot and sometimes my ankle. It's not like I'm going to set any records on the run, but I am prepared for a much slower than normal pace.

Slightly swollen

LOOKING FORWARD

Ok, so I am now a few days closer to race day because I couldn't find the enthusiasm to finish this post until today, October 12, 2022...ten years and five days since I completed my very first triathlon, the Golden State Triathlon. Coincidentally, the swim at the Golden State was in the American River just down stream from the start of IRONMAN California. 

On the bike at the 2012 Golden State Triathlon

So, I've done some soul searching and have decided to make finishing and enjoying the race my #1 and #2 goals. I am abandoning any unrealistic goals such as beating either of my previous IRONMAN finish times. Let's be real,  I was 6-7 years younger and several pounds lighter. On top of that, I have no idea what my fitness level truly is. With the illness and injuries and altered training I have no idea what to expect.

Looking for that finish line high one more time!

Here is what I hope to accomplish in order to consider this race a success:

1) Finish 💪

2) Have fun 😁 (Better be smiling in the race photos!)

3) Don't freak out on the bike 😱 (Proving myself on the bike is the reason I signed up for this race).

4) Sub 13:00 hour finish time 👌

Here's looking forward to great weather and an even better race report!

Sidelined by COVID-19

So, last weekend we held a low-key 70th birthday party for HS. In the past we had held surprise parties and funny themed parties for his big milestones, but for this one, he said he just wanted to get together with family. So that's what we did. Little did we know that a theme would develop days after the candles were blown out on his cake.

I'm not going to name any names in this post, everyone is entitled to tell their own stories...so I will keep things very general. To start off, everyone at the party was probably pretty much aware of everyone's vaccination status...we were all family and have gotten together several times during the pandemic. I would say this was probably one of the first get togethers where the virus wasn't a major topic of conversation. Talk of the virus had dropped out of the news and guests chatted about kids in college, retirement plans, aches & pains, and other stuff.

We know 100% for sure who started the chain of events. However, out of our entire family, they are probably two of the most cautious in terms of catching or spreading COVID. They were both vaccinated and boosted. Since they had recently returned from a trip back east, they tested themselves on the Friday before and the Saturday of the party. All their tests were negative. I'm not sure what prompted them to test again on Sunday evening, but when they did, their tests were positive.

I read the"We tested positive" text at 4am Monday morning. I got up and took a test and was relieved to see it was negative. When I got into work that morning, I pulled up my employer's ever changing policy to see what exactly, if anything, I needed to do being that I had a good exposure window on Saturday. I followed the policy and waited for the advice nurse to get back to me four hours later. I was instructed to go home. If I tested negative on Thursday, I could come back. I wouldn't get that far. I tested positive on Tuesday morning.

My test results on Tuesday, started a brief debate with HS. He said you could hardly see the line (I think he was in denial). I told him it didn't matter how dark the line was. Next he said that the line didn't look blue. I told him I didn't think the color mattered. By that afternoon, however, the line was a bold, blue undeniable answer. I had COVID. After two years it had finally caught up with me in my own home.

Back to Monday, HS and I started the awkward task of letting our guests know that they may have been exposed. Over the next couple of days I started hearing back that people were testing positive. We had people that had COVID previously that were also vaccinated and boosted that caught it again. There were some that were never vaccinated that got it. We have had one spouse that caught it but the rest of their household remains in the clear. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to who got it this time. The good news was that most of the symptoms and their severity were the same regardless of vax status.

Friday morning, I woke up, took a dose of Tylenol Cold medicine and plopped on the couch. I was thankful that Thursday and Friday were "rest" days on my training calendar because I still had hopes of a miraculous recovery that would allow me to compete at the Modesto Marathon this coming Sunday. Previously I had contacted the race director about transferring my entry to the "virtual" marathon, but I really didn't want to do that. I decided that if I took a test and it was negative, or maybe had the lighter results of the first morning, I would hang on and wait. Unfortunately, my test results were quick and definitive. I switched to "virtual" and shed a few tears.

I reminded myself that my main goal of the Modesto Marathon was just to have something to focus on so I would keep in shape until IRONMAN California training started. The entry to Modesto served that purpose. I stayed in shape, dropped about 12 pounds and was feeling pretty healthy and ready to jump into IRONMAN training. Regardless, it is still a huge disappointment not to be able to race. After the 2021 IRONMAN California was canceled at the last minute due to a bomb cyclone, and then a very disappointing finish at CIM due to a injury, I was looking forward to a tiny bit of redemption...just a small boost. Now I will have to wait.

Today, my symptoms feel like a mild annoying cold. I would say the worst I felt was on day 2 and that was mostly due to my headache and the body aches. I am so used to feeling a bit sore all the time from training that I forgot what real body aches felt like. Thankfully, they subsided the next day. Actually, if I want to know how I am going to be feeling today, all I need to do is ask "Patient Zero". They are about one day ahead of me in terms of recovery. 

Since I woke up feeling relatively good, I have decided to forego any cold medicine. My stomach is really getting jacked up from taking them all week (along with the zinc and other vitamins). Plus, I was tired of my head being in a fog. I thought it was the COVID making me feel that way, but I think it was the cold meds.