Friday, December 16, 2022

The Book Project - Editing

Since I'm taking the rest of December off from any kind of structured training, I have lots of time (sort of) for working on my book. I'm following the Story Grid with is an editing method developed by Shawn Coyne. I've been reading his book, listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos trying to wrap my head around what I am supposed to be doing (and I thought the Triathletes Training Bible got confusing).

Anyway, the first step of the editing process is to read through my manuscript with my editor's hat on. I am no longer a writer. If I find anything wrong, misspelled, lacking in details, I am simply supposed to write it down on a sort of "punch list" (to use a construction term) and go back and address those issues in my second draft. 

Here is my take on the first act:

    1. Leaving Work - Fourth paragraph is weird. Check tense in this scene. Seems to jump around.
    2. Change - Tara only baked brownies for Mark? What about Mason? Wouldn’t Mason eat the brownies? Maybe she baked a double batch, more than enough for 3 people. A bit short
    3. Jan's New Ride - more info on what a flip turn is and what year round swimming is.
    4. 500 Free - more on winning, why is it important to Tara? What do coaches talk to swimmers about after race?  Fix mention of one more year of high school swimming. Mason is supposed to be a senior.
    5. Crunching Numbers:  Discuss how food relaxes her. Takes away anxiety. Should focus be placed on which events Mason is going to compete at? 
    6. Mason’s Big Decision - Confusing about college brochures being out if he already picked school, more conversation/argument before Tara storms out. She needs to realize he’s serious.
    7. Hiding at Work - Potential? Is this needed? too short. More discussion about her pain, disappointment
    8. Depression - Good start, work on transition to summer swimming and Tara’s weight. This should be about her letting herself go even further than when Mason was swimming.
    9. Talk to a Friend - Tara is finally able to talk about disappointment. 
    10. Leaving the Nest - How did Mason get into school if he didn’t apply? Tara would have know if he applied. Need to review this and make sure school he is going to makes sense. 
    11. Intro to More - Good, needs more details.
    12. Research - Short, need more info about what she finds, cost of Jan’s bike maybe, swim equipment, etc. Tara will go from uninformed to informed. Worry about what Mark would think about cost.
    13. Friend in Need - Tara pushed by Kim to do an activity for herself. Short needs more build up. Maybe Tara can mention Kona to Kim but being worried about the cost and what Mark would say when they are in the store.

I knew things were rough but not this bad.

I've gone through the entire manuscript making notes like this. Towards the end of the book, I knew things got a little rough and unpolished, but I found a scene with only one...that's right...ONE paragraph. I guess I left most of that one in my head. I also found a scene that was more or less the original blog post it was based on...pictures and all. 


Only one paragraph describing the  2.4 miles before this point!

Now on to the next step which is to boil my story down to a one page summary called "The Foolscap Global Story Grid". This is where it is getting tricky...trying to answer these six questions about my own story and filling out the form:

1. What is the genre? (I'm pretty sure it's a performance story).
2. What are the conventions and obligatory scenes? (If it's truly a performance story, I need the scenes listed here by Savannah Gilbo).
3. What is the point of view? (Third person, Tara)
4. What are the objects of desire? (Doing an IRONMAN, going to Kona???)
5. What is the controlling idea/theme? (Hmmm???)
6. What is the beginning hook, the middle build, and the ending payoff? (I'm really not sure LOL)

Here's what a Foolscap looks like, I've set one up in a spreadsheet. Fingers crossed that by the end of the weekend, I'll have it filled out and that it will make sense.

Foolscap which is the name of the size of paper, now standardized at about 13 × 8






Monday, December 12, 2022

The Book Project

Scrolling through my previous blog posts, I was certain that I had written about the book I have been working for the last couple of years. Looks like I haven't or maybe I just mentioned it in passing. Anyway, now that IRONMAN California is complete and CIM 2022 is done, I have the rest of the year to focus on my writing project. Yes, I realize that this blog post is another stall tactic on my part, but I'm hoping it will put me in the right frame of mind for editing my first draft.

In a nutshell, the story is about a middle aged woman who had lived vicariously through her son's impressive swimming career. She is thrown into a depression when he decides he is done with swimming. Through a series of events, she gets involved in triathlons and is hooked. She naively sets her goal on racing at the World Championships in Kona before realizing the physical requirements and perseverance required. Eventually she learns to feel pride in her own accomplishments regardless of the event involved.

Somewhat autobiographical? Maybe ;-) 

Working through my printed first draft


Story Stats

  • Draft: First
  • Word Count: 82,000+
  • Scenes Written: 66
  • Scenes Edited: 4
  • Writing Software: Scrivener
  • Confidence Level: -100

Scene 11: "Intro to More" 

Here is the one scene I am willing to share right now. It's a bit on the short side, but of all the scenes I've written, this is one of the few that seems to move the story in the right direction. Note that "Tk" means "To Come", it's written as tk because no other word in the English language has that letter combination, meaning I can find every reference with a search.

    "Tara leaned back into the brown leather couch and pulled the colorful fleece blanket higher up on her lap in an attempt to hide her uncomfortableness. The elastic band on her sweatpants felt tighter than ever and though she tried to convince herself that they must have shrunk in the wash she knew that the polyester pants were roughly the same size they were when she bought them years ago at her heaviest weight.

A single brown leaf drifted down from the massive Valley oak tree and landed gracefully on the wine barrel chair. The warm summer mornings had given way to chillier air and changing colors. The shorter days seemed to drag on longer than their summer counterparts. 

This had become a regular weekend pattern for her with no swim meets distract her. Mason was away at school enjoying the first semester of his freshman year and Mark was off golfing with his buddies. Tara had plenty of tasks she wanted to get done around the house, but she just couldn’t bring herself to start a single project. The scrapbook of Mason’s senior year had only empty pages. The kit she bought so she could prep meals and hopefully lose a bit of weight sat unopened in the cardboard box it was shipped in. She had planned to clean the grout in the guest bath and refinish the wine barrel chairs that sat dusty and unused on the back patio. So many worthwhile projects that could easily take her mind of her boredom but zero motivation to start a single one.

An image of the pantry contents flashed through her mind. There was an opened bag of jalapeno kettle chips begging her to get up off the couch. The spicy treat had a much stronger pull than her willpower and within a few minutes she found herself grabbing the bag off the shelf and then standing in front of the open fridge looking for a diet soda to chase it with. She found a lone can of Coke Zero hidden in the corner. She grabbed it and for an instance gave herself the option to put everything back and make a healthy choice. She turned on her heel before the idea became too shameful and headed back to the couch.

The cushion made a soft whoosh as she plopped back into her favorite corner of the couch. She covered herself with the blanket again and unrolled the bag of chips. With the opening wide enough to get her hand into it, she set it off to the side and grabbed the remote. Saturday afternoons were not a great day for TV watching so she spent several minutes clicking past commercials and paid programming designed to trick you into watching what appeared to be a TV program. Commercial. Click. Commercial. Click. News. Click. Commercial. Click. Hundreds of swimmers bobbing in the ocean. Wait.

The sight of all of the capped heads caught her attention. The camera cut to an underwater shot of the swimmers. At the bottom of the screen was the beautiful bright blue of the pacific ocean. It looked as if the legs were dangling in a Blue Hawaii cocktail almost like human seaweed. The swimmers all wore knee length sleeveless suits with a black band around their ankles. The slow motion filming gave the scene a magical quality as the mass of legs slowly churned the water in an eggbeater pattern. The camera cut back to an overhead shot and then focused on a cannon. Boom! The cannon fired as a puff of smoke shot out as the sun could still be seen rising up in the east.

The horde of hundreds if not thousands of swimmers started moving forward. An unsynchronized mass of arms and legs moving across the top of the water. Tara remembered their family trip to Hawaii a few years ago. The water temperature was magical, nothing like the chilly ocean she was used to visiting.

The announcer came on and started talking about the swim portion and explaining the distances involved in this race, the IRONMAN World Championships. Tara sat up a bit straighter and leaned forward as it to get closer to the action. This was the race Jan had told her about. She pressed the “info” button on the remote and saw that the program was scheduled for an hour. She figured she could spend the next sixty minutes or so watching this race. It was better than watching commercials. 

The show progressed as it went from showing the professional triathletes and then the age groupers. Race standings were interspersed between race footage with the most beautiful backdrop you could imagine. While the pro race was interesting, the athletes seemed almost super human. There is no way I could do that she thought to herself. 

What drew her in and kept her watching was the stories of the regular humans. Some had suffered personal tragedies. Others had tried so often to qualify that they had purchased IRONMAN lottery tickets in an effort to get the chance to race on this world renowned course. The faces on the competitors showed pain and struggle and determination. Some finished before the sun set on the Hawaiian island. Others finished when artificial light had to be turned on to illuminate  the finish chute. Heartbreakingly, a few did not make the final cut off at midnight.

As quickly and as inexplicably as her thought to grab the bag of chips, a strong, unexpected desire arose in her heart. She thought “I want to do that race.” Deep down in her soul she felt a yearning to race in the most prestigious IRONMAN in the world even though she had never done a triathlon in her life. The joy on the competitors faces when they crossed the finish line reminded her of how she used to feel watching Mason swim. She longed for that feeling again and would do anything to get it.

“Here comes Tk. This is his third attempt at finishing IRONMAN Kona in the 80 year old group. He’s got less than a minute to cross the finish line before the time cutoff,” the announcer stated in a very serious, hopeful voice.

Tara leaned forward, her pulse quickened. It felt like watching the last two laps of Mason swimming a 500. 

“Here he comes,” the announcer continued, the remaining crowd cheered loudly. “It looks like he is going to do it this time. Here he comes. YES! He did it!”

The cameras cut to a close up of the 83 year old competitor, exhausted but beaming. Mike Reilly could be heard over the event loudspeakers “Tk You. Are. An. IRONMAN.” The remaining, late night crowd cheered wildly.

Tk bent over in exhaustions and finally straightened as a grey haired woman ran to him him and wrapped her arms around him, tears streaming down both of their faces.

Tara finished watching the remaining moments of the program and wiped her cheek. She had never felt a desire like this and the feeling was strange. Everything she had ever wanted to do involved watching someone else do it. She felt lighter for a moment as the happiness of feeling like she had a purpose lifted up from her doldrums. The credits rolled and she grabbed the remote and started channel surfing again before nodding off."

Constructive Criticism Welcome

I am not sharing this snippet of writing in order to get any kind of false praise. I am also not sharing it so people can rip it apart just for sport. I am looking for honest feedback. If something I wrote is unclear or doesn't make sense, please reply below in the comments. For now, I'm going to get back to editing.


Thursday, December 8, 2022

California International Marathon - 2022

Ok, this one's going to be short and sweet...unlike the actual race. 

Seven and counting! 2022 is not my favorite medal.

This was my seventh time running CIM. I didn't expect a PR or BQ after completing IRONMAN California about a month prior. I also had been sick with a terrible cold/sinus infection since before Thanksgiving (Actually, I started having sinus problems after IMCA). Anyway, I decided to make the best of a bad situation and go out there and have fun and get my finisher's medal.

Emergency poncho! 

HS had been warning me about the weather all week. I knew the chance of rain was going to be high. I sprung for the $5 rain poncho at the CIM Expo and hoped that I wouldn't have to wear it for the entire 26.2 miles. Thankfully, the poncho was off before the race started. This year I chose to wear a hydration vest/pack. Originally, I was going to wear a hip pack to carry the poncho and gels, but the strap looked like it had been chewed by some vicious animal (I'm blaming Wags). 

Wagner, the destroyer of all things I decide
I need at the last minute!


The hydration pack worked fine and allowed me to keep my hands free and it matched my shoes! I sipped casually from the tube every time I passed an aid station.

Since it was a bit chilly, I wore a long sleeve thermal top. There was an internal thumb strap that kept the sleeves pulled down past my Garmin. Mentally this was just the break I needed because I couldn't stare at my watch every couple of minutes and fret about my pace. I ran the race, only focusing on enjoying the fact that I was out there on the course instead of sitting at home. 

I tried not to chase other runners (old habits die hard) but occasionally found myself mad at someone for passing me wearing a running skirt or wearing their hair in a man-bun. Don't ask me why those things trigger me in a race, but I have determined that these people should not be allowed to pass. LOL

The race proceeded as well as could be expected given my sinus infection reduced training (hey, I was calling it an enhanced taper). I ran through Fair Oaks Village and kept my eyes peeled for signs of HS. There was no sign of him so I assumed he was either inside somewhere grabbing food or he decided to go to church. He went to church. I trudged along, pleased with myself that I had continued to run. I wasn't very speedy on this day, but I wasn't walking. 

I passed the 13.1 mark still feeling pretty good but dreading the next part of the course. I don't know what it is about this section, but it does not spark joy. Maybe it's just a bit bleak, I don't know. My pace was pretty consistent through the first 18 miles and then my cold medicine wore off. The first coughing fit scared me a bit. I was on a bit of a descent and as I coughed, it felt like my brain short circuited and my legs went haywire. I steadied myself, but after it happened a second time, I decided to walk when I started coughing. 

Then I decided to walk when I went through the aid stations. Then I decided to walk because my left calf was tight. Then I decided to walk because I was over it. As flat as the course was at this point, it was all downhill for me. I was done. I wanted to cross the finish line and get my medal.


Screen grab from the free finish line video on Athlinks
(I won't be buying any of the saddest race photos 
since the first time I did Barb's Race)



Post Race

HS was at the finish dutifully waiting. He asked what happened at 24th Street because he said that is when the tracking stopped moving. I shrugged, just wanting to get my swag and leave. I'm not sure what the tracker is based on, but I slowed down way before he noticed.

The walk to our truck seemed incredibly far and my legs continued to tighten up. I limped along in pain and hoped that he was picking the quickest route to the parking structure. I remarked to HS how it was so strange how my legs can hurt so much more after a marathon than an IRONMAN race to which he replied "You weren't doing a lot of running in IRONMAN." OUCH, BABE!!! LOL


Got my medal and didn't ruin my new Saucony shoes.
Win-Win!

We drove straight home and I stood in the freezing cold hot tub for about 5 minutes before wimping out and getting into a nice warm epsom salt bath. I hobbled down stairs and slipped into my Hyperice recovery boots. These were a godsend after IRONMAN. I was relying on them to save me again. 

Best purchase I have made in a while!

I wore the boots several more times over the next 24 hours and wondered if there was limit on how much you could use them. I didn't care. My legs were feeling 1000% better and I could manage the stairs and even walking the dogs. On day 2 when I normally found myself in a free fall situation every time I used the toilet, I was impressingly controlled and lowered myself like a lady.

Least favorite shirt. Missing the V-neck and the blue.

On Monday, I donned my new CIM shirt before we headed out to get my prescription (should have called the doctor before that the race). As I walked out of the bathroom, I turned to look in the mirror. What is wrong with my shirt? I had requested a large so it would be more of a lounge shirt but it felt very restricted through the shoulders. Were the arm holes too low? Did I have it on backwards? What is going on? I turned and faced the mirror. Something is definitely not right but I can't put my finger on it. I took the shirt off and swapped it for my Jed Smith Ultra shirt. Whatever...I ran for the medal not the shirt.

Final Wrap Up

All that being said...I just signed up for 2023!  Hopefully, HS will be joining me in the finisher pics ;-)

2016 CIM
Mike's first and only marathon. He missed qualifying for
the Boston Marathon by less than 5 minutes!!!





Sunday, November 13, 2022

Race Report - IRONMAN California

Before I go any further into the actual race, I need to say "Thank you" to HS. He stuck by my training for IRONMAN California 2021. He consoled me when I cried on the way home after it was canceled. He stood by me for my second year of training. I'm sure he wanted 2022 to happen just as much as I did. By this point, he was familiar with my training plan. Two weeks of hard training, one week recovery (welcome to Masters training). He kept the pool clean for me well past the time we are normally swimming and he was the one to encourage me to get my bike to the shop for a long overdue tuneup. THANK YOU, HONEY!!! LOVE YOU!!

Pre-Race

HS and I drove up to Sacramento on Thursday. My plan was to checkin first thing Friday morning, buy lots of IRONMAN stuff and head back to our place to rest. This year was different in so many ways. For one, the sky was clear and the sun was shining. The IRONMAN village was set up a bit differently. I really liked how they had it last year with the Sacramento letters in front of the capitol but it was great to be able to sit out on the grass and wait for the athlete briefing to start. Another difference was that we weren't required to wear a mask. You could see all the smiling faces.

Signing the IRONMAN board

#1478 Redemption ✝

Check-in was extremely easy and uncomplicated. I had pulled up my QR code on my phone and had my drivers's license ready. That's all I needed. 

As I waited in the relatively short line, a woman walked up to the lady standing behind me and asked if this was the line for registration. The lady replied "Yes" only for the woman to ask if it was the line to sign up!?!? LOL The lady replied that the event was sold out and the woman walked off down the street. At that point I turned around and looked at the lady who was holding back a laugh. I asked "Who decides to sign up for an IRONMAN at the last minute?"

Back at the house, I laid out my bags and sorted out my gear. There would be several checks and re-checks before taking my bike to the stadium on Saturday.

The gear bags sound confusing at the athlete briefing 
but actually aren't that hard to figure out

Saturday afternoon finally rolled around. I had spent the morning going over everything and trying not to panic. It was time to drop off my by and gear bags. Unlike Vineman, all of my gear was going to one location.


Here's goes nothing...

My bag decorations left something to be desired this year.
The stars were a last minute purchase and didn't stick very well.

How many millions of dollars in bikes are on the field?


Morning of the Race

Last year it was hard to say if the chaos in the morning was due to the storm or if it was the parking situation. I'm fairly certain in 2021, people had to pay before they entered the parking lot. I just remember a long, unmoving line of cars that forced me to hop out of the truck in order to get to my bike.This year, however, we were informed at the athlete briefing that drivers would pay when they left the parking lot. We parked quickly and easily this year. 

Not the best pic, but at least we got into the parking lot

HS walked with me up to the stadium entrance. I pointed at a kiosk where he could prepay for the parking and told him I was going to go put the Gatorade in my bike and check on things and then I would be back.

I followed a slow line of athletes down to the field. On the way I checked to see if my bike gear back was where I left it and in tact. At my bike, everything looked as I left it. I filled the Fuelselage with Gatorade, checked things over one more time and turned to make the long slow trek back out of the stadium. Back in the unsecured world full of spectators and significant others, I located HS and  pointed the way to the shuttles. While I was in the stadium, I heard a number of announcements telling everyone to make their way to the shuttles in order to get to the swim start. I was amazed at the number of people still walking the opposite way towards the bikes.

When we arrived at the shuttle pickup location, we found three full school buses and one small bus that looked like a hotel shuttle. Eventually they pulled away and we stood there in the chilly morning wondering when the next shuttles were coming. At the athlete briefing and in the athlete guide, it was stated that the shuttles were for competitors and spectators. If only 3-4 buses returned, there was no way everyone was getting on. I think IRONMAN staff figured this out and someone who looked official and had a bull horn, announced that only athletes were to get on the shuttles right now. The crowd squirmed and waited. Eventually a few more buses showed up.

HS gave me a kiss and agreed to pray for me. At this point we were going to have to part ways. Little did I know that I wouldn't see him again until finishing the first loop of the bike. When the bus in front of me opened its doors, an older couple pressed forward. Athletes concerned with getting a spot on the shuttle started yelling "Athletes only". It was amazing to watch the older couple try and ignore the fact that they had a stressed out, anxious mob yelling at them to not get on the bus. They ended up on the bus. I'm sure their son or daughter was so proud to keep a competitor or two off the bus so mom and dad could ride with them. Sad.

Considering that the swim is only (Only? LOL) 2.4 miles, the ride seemed to take forever. As I looked out the window, I watched two wetsuit clad athletes racing the bus on a pair of those rent-a-bikes you see all over downtown. They were flying and seemed to be having a blast. I did see on a post-race Facebook post that one of the guys crashed but was OK and was still able to compete.

Not my photo, but someone on the bus was able to snap a shot
of one of the guys that took matters into his own hands.

I exited the bus and tried to figure out what to do next. I decided, given the chill in the air, that putting my wetsuit all the way on would help. I baby oiled my arms and wiggled my way into the neoprene. Next, fingers crosses, I grabbed the zipper pull and hoped that I would be able to zip myself up. Success. I then put on my cap and stapped on my goggles. I brought a large bottle of water to sort of prep myself for the river water. I walked towards the "Morning Gear Bag" drop off area and poured the water into my wetsuit. At least this would help cut down on the shock of cold river water running down into the zipper along my back.

The announcer started calling for sub-hour swimmers and instructed them to line up on the bike path. Next he called for 1:00 to 1:10 swimmers. I stood in line and immediately felt out of place. I was 100% sure everyone behind me was faster. I took a few steps back and eased myself towards the end of the group. A lady standing next to me remarked that she didn't like the look of the pack of large men behind us so she moved back to a less bulky and threatening looking group. Eventually I settled in right in front of the 1:10 to 1:20 group. I had no idea how two years of sporadic, tethered pool swimming would translate into an open water, river swim. My main goal was to meet the cut off and not drown.

Swim

As the group of swimmers moved forward, I saw a gentleman shaking hands with the athletes as they passed him. Being an unabashed follower, I stuck out my hand to shake the stranger's hand. At that moment, when I looked up at his face, I realized it was Mike Reilly, "The Voice" of IRONMAN.  With my right hand firmly gripping his, I placed my left hand on top and gave him a heart felt shake. Knowing that I would be competing in one of the last few races before he retired was something special to me. I couldn't wait to hear him announce my name when I crossed the finish line. Knowing he was going to be at this race was one of the things that kept be going when I wanted to quit. I released his hand before it became awkward and continued the slow march to the river's edge. 

Local news came out the cover the start (I'm back there somewhere)

Here's a link to the local news coverage: CBS CW31 IRONMAN Coverage

As I neared the water they announced a two minute pause. Ugh. I calmed myself for the shortest and longest two minutes of my life. The race proceeded with four athletes entering the water every five seconds. Two more people in front of me, one person in front of me, oh no, I'm next. Beep. I started my Garmin at 7:20am and was off on my adventure.

I waded out into the water until it was deep enough to swim. The water was chilly but not unbearable. The first part of the swim headed almost straight across the river similar to my first triathlon ten years earlier about a mile downstream. I swam towards the buoy and hung a left and proceeded to swim downstream. I really couldn't tell if there was a current, but when I looked underwater, you could definitely see the aquatic plants pointing the way to go. There was a current even if I couldn't feel it. From what I had read online, you could really feel it once you reached the Sacramento River.

I swam along peacefully keeping towards the outside. I had no intention of mixing it up in the middle and preferred the quiet. Eventually I swam under the Jiboom bridge and could finally see the orange buoys marking the Sacramento River. I followed the group and soon realized that there was an orange buoy to our right? Uh oh? Is everyone cutting the course? I corrected my trajectory and headed across the river towards the seemingly out of place buoy. Several other swimmers flailed at at the water, struggling to swim upstream towards the buoy. I paused for a few moments and let the throng go by. They were fighting each other and the current. Eventually, I entered the fray and grasped at the rope holding the buoy in place. I pulled myself forward and around the buoy before releasing myself into the flow of the river. Once again, I moved towards the outside.

Another "borrowed" photo showing the swimmers going under the Jiboom bridge

LESSON LEARNED: The photo above is of the Jiboom bridge. The same bridge I walked across to get to the swim start of my very first triathlon, The Golden State Triathlon. The swim start was to the right of the bridge above. It was a very short swim straight across the American River. Our exit point was a rickety wooden staircase that climbed up from the sandy bank. During our practice swim, Coach James, told us to NOT swim towards the staircase but to swim slightly upstream. Even though the current wasn't that strong, it would push us towards the exit point. This lesson was completely forgotten until after IRONMAN California. If I had aimed myself further upstream from the first Sacramento River buoy, I would have had a much easier swim and wouldn't have had to fight the current and other swimmers to get around the buoy.

The Sacramento River part of the swim defiantly went by faster than the first half in the American River. Before I knew it, I could see the gleeming gold Tower Bridge. As I shakily climbed the exit ramp, I looked at my Garmin and swore I saw a 46 minute time. WTH? I was elated! What an incredible time. The excitement induced me to run all the way to my bike. I couldn't believe how good I did. Well, that's what I thought at the time...without my reading glasses, I got some of the numbers wrong. I think it was more like 1:00, but it was still good.

I should look much happier at this point (being out of the river) as 
I reach back to unzip my wetsuit.

T1

At the top of the swim exit was a line of wetsuit strippers. I laid down on my back and put my feet in the air. Two volunteers grabbed a side of my wetsuit and with a quick tug popped it off of my legs. I thanked them as they handed it back to me and I proceeded to run through T1 to my bike. I entered the stadium on the mile plus transition and grabbed my bike gear bag. Since my wetsuit was off and I wasn't changing out of my Pearl Izumi tri suit, I jogged all the way down to the field and my bike. I put on my socks, shoes, helmet and glasses and shoved my swim gear into the bag. I unracked my bike and beaded toward the mount line. It almost seemed too easy.

Bike

I croseed the mount line, clipped in, and was off. The last thing on my mind was the hit and run. This is why I was here. I wanted to prove that I was not going to let my love for cycling or IRONMAN racing get taken away from me.

I made my way around the stadium, through the single file, no-passing construction zone and out onto the bike course. The roads at this point were smooth and uncongested with riders. It was a moment of racing bliss. I reminded myself that the headwind was supposed to be on the way out and then we were going to be treated to a nice tailwind on the way back. I checked my Garmin and saw that I was easily maintaining around a 20 mph pace. If this was the headwind, I couldn't wait for the turn around!


Smooth sailing on a closed course...bike bliss

I proceeded through the course enjoying every moment. Even Babel Slough Rd which had been bitched about for months online didn't seem that bad. I've rode worse levee roads than that. Babel Slough could rattle your teeth for a bit, but it was fine, I was riding, that's all that mattered. After about 3-4 miles, Bable Slough gave way to smoother asphalt and easy spinning returned. I cruised along at about 20-22 mph for the long stretch on Jefferson Rd and then I turned onto Courtland Rd and hit a crosswind. My speed dropped to 16-17 mph. My smile waned as I leaned into the wind and gripped my handlebars.

Based on my start time of 7:20 plus my hour swim and 17 minute transition, I was out on the bike course at roughly 8:40am, about an hour and a half before the gusts started. I hit Courtland Rd, my first pass down it, about an hour into my ride. I could definitely feel the wind at this point. It was a strong steady crosswind. Hmmm...that means it's blowing out of the north and I've been riding with a tailwind this entire time. Crap! I knew I shouldn't believe what I was reading on the internet!

Not ideal riding conditions but at least it wasn't raining

I turned onto Ryer Rd and once again had the wind at my back. I remembered to drink frequently and had my nutrition timing dialed in. The wind became much more noticeable up on the levee road to the turn around. I was nervous looking at the steep edge and stayed out of my aerobars for better control. I eased around the tight turn at the turnaround point and headed back. Then things got real...real ugly.

The long fast stretch on Jefferson Rd became a soul crushing battle. The wind gusts made it hard to relax into an aero position for any amount of time. Just when I would ease back down, the wind would grab my front wheel and jerk it. I would pop back up making riding into the wind even more difficult. Nutrition became an issue too at this point because I didn't want to take my hand off the grips.

Trying to smile for the camera as I get passed

Every once in a while I would get passed by a "group" of riders. I longed to suck on to a rider's back wheel just for a break but then I was reminded of my Scripture reading from hours before the race. Here is what it said: 

"Similarly, anyone who competes as an athlete does not receive the victor's crown except by competing according to the rules." 2 Timothy 2:5

So, I played by the rules and did my best not to ride in anyone's draft zone. However, the windier it got, the harder it seemed for athletes to separate themselves. It's one thing to pass someone when you are going 20 mph. It's another thing when it's taking everything you've got to go 10 mph. I looked forward to the second loop and the much needed break from the headwind.


Headed back to the stadium, lap 1 almost done

As I neared the stadium, I saw HS and my spirits lifted. He cheered for me as I went by, unaware that just a few miles ago I was considering pulling over and calling it quits. I made the turn at the stadium and headed back out, trying desperately to keep my mind from thinking about the ride back.

Smile for HS...so glad to see him!

The winds were stronger on the second lap and I did what I could to take advantage of the tailwind while I had it. I'm not sure if the direction of the wind had changed or if I was just worn out, but I didn't get up to quite the same speeds I did on the first lap. At least it didn't feel like it.

I think one of the worst things about the out and back course on this particular day is that you got to watch the athletes struggling going the opposite direction. Here I was flying down Jefferson Rd as the people on the other side of the road grinded along stone faced. I knew that would be me in a matter of time. After making the turnaround at the top of the levee, I sucked up what energy I could and peddled my way back to the stadium. 

So many great bike photos from FinisherPix!

Knowing that I needed to eat something and knowing that I wasn't going to be able to safely execute that task while riding, I pulled over at an aid station. I took my time refilling the Fuelselage on my bike and started picking through all of my empty Gu wrappers with shaky hands. A volunteer came up to me to see if I needed any help. I explained that I was just cleaning out some garbage. She put her hands out, pressed together like a bowl and said "I can take those for you, just give them to me." I almost started crying just from her act of kindness of trying to help me sort my trash. I thanked her, pulled myself together, and started riding again.

At this point, spinning away in my small chain ring, I reminded myself that I had to keep riding. Even if I wanted to quit, I had to get back to the stadium. I cursed the wind. I cursed my stupid decision to race. I cursed just to curse. I watched the miles slowly tick by and wondered about cutoff times. I was amazed at the number of riders still heading out in the other direction and thanked God  that I was almost done.

T2

Eventually, I made it back to the stadium and transition. I dismounted my bike and decided to make a pitstop at one of the porta-potties. I was amazed at how clean it was inside. I sat down and peed more than I ever thought possible, especially given the fact that I didn't drink much in the last couple of hours. As much as I was enjoying sitting in the porte-potty, I knew I had to get up and keep going.

I walked my bike back to my numbered spot and racked it. I pulled out my run gear bag and took out my shoes and a fresh pair of socks. Then I sat down on the ground. I swapped out my gear and stuffed some candy in my mouth, not even thinking about getting something to drink. I knew I couldn't just sit there all afternoon, so I slowly got up and walked towards the run course. My Garmin had this part of my journey at roughly half a mile. 

There was a table set up with sunblock and I craned my neck as I went by hoping to see some lip balm but there wasn't any. I continued my slow walk out of the stadium and started my shuffle run when I hit the start of the run course. HS was there, once again to cheer me on and snap a few photos. Seeing him again brightened my mood for a bit.

Headed out on to the run course. 

Run

On any other day but this day, the run course would have been amazing and fun. There was a short out and back that took the athletes past Drake's "The Barn". Patrons enjoying beer and pizza cheered us on from the large fenced in grass area that lined the path. A train from Old Sacramento passed by with more cheering people which added to the festive atmosphere.

The route then took us on another out and back that stretched past Miller's Park (a place I recognized from cyclocross). At this point, my attitude got pretty bad. The course stretched along the top of a levee that allowed athletes to continue to get blasted by the wind. My run/walk turned into more of a walk and I started having serious doubts about whether or not I wanted to continue. My face was dry, my eyes itched and my lips burned.

I pressed on knowing that if I stopped, I would absolutely hate myself in the morning and would more than likely feel compelled to attempt this one more time. At this point, I could not imagine going through all of the training again. 

Eventually, in some off-ramp looking downtown-ish area before Old Sac, I came across a small aid station with a large tub of Vasoline set on the corner of a table. There were five wooden sticks in it so I grabbed one and put a large dollop of the greasy gel onto my finger. Honestly, my lips were so dry from the wind that I probably would have used a jar that had been sitting in the gutter. I smeared a thick layer on and around my lips and wiped the rest on my suit. Relief.

The course proceeded through Old Sacramento, which was cool. The street was lined with more cheering spectators. The challenging part was picking up my tired legs high enough not to trip. Its hard to do the IRONMAN shuffle on cobblestone streets. 

The course again made it's way along the top of the levee and back to the American River. I crossed the Jiboom Bridge and was on to the American River Trail. The sun was still up as I entered Discovery Park, but I knew it would be getting dark before I finished the out and back portion. I had a light clipped on my race belt but only had it for "just in case". From what I read on the Internet (Again, why do I believe this stuff?) the run course was going to have plenty of light from portable lighting. This turned out to only be half true. Yes, there was portable lighting, but it was only at the aid stations. In between aid stations, no lights. 

The American River Trail, at this point of the race is lined in tall trees. It was a welcome buffer to the wind and I felt my spirits pick up just a bit and I found myself running more than walking. The miles ticked off ever so slowly at this pace, however, and each mile marker only served to remind me of how much further I needed to go. 

Nightfall came over the course and I turned my light on just past the turn around. The course took on an odd feeling. Faceless shadows moved towards me with lights either on their caps or belts. It was like watching a line of miners trudging along in a cave. There were a few runners around me that didn't have lights. I figured they would stay close to share in my illumination, but they kept their distance. Although the trail was relatively smooth and free of debris, I still like to see where I'm stepping.

Close to re-entering Discovery Park, I could hear a dog barking. As I approached a grove of trees, I could see a big dog with a rope hanging from its collar. It was clearly upset about the intrusion on his evening and so it stood at the edge of the trail barking at each athlete as they passed. I sped up slightly, unwilling to have my race ended by a dog bite. 

I crossed the Jiboom bridge again and readied myself for a photo. I had seen the race photographer when I crossed the bridge the first time, but he was gone at this point. I guess it was too dark. I was bummed. I passed a woman headed the opposite direction and she asked what mile I was on. My brain wasn't functioning too well at that point and I responded "I don't know" and I seriously didn't know. It didn't occur to me that I could have looked at my Garmin, but it was dark and I didn't have my glasses so it probably wouldn't have helped. 

The course finally came down off the levee and under the freeway and into an oddly vacant feeling area. There were new streets waiting for future development. I could see runners ahead of me, but I still felt alone and a bit scared in between the streetlights. I crossed a large overpass and entered the downtown area. A male runner came along side of me on F St and commented that we only had about 5 miles to go and that we should be done in less than an hour. He jogged off and I thought "Speak for yourself. At my pace I will be lucky to be done in an hour." 

Finish Line

Typically, I don't separate the finish line in my race reports, but this one was going to be special. I had been looking forward to hearing Mike Reilly, the voice of IRONMAN, call out my name as I crossed the finish line. This was one of his last races before retiring. This was going to be special. However, in order to get to that moment, I had to circle the finish line two times! In my mind, I wasn't even sure how this was going to work and worried that in my mentally tired state, I would mess something up.

As I neared the finish area, I saw a Mile 22 sign. Ugh! Four more miles to go. I then came upon a split with a sign. Laps 1 and 2...arrow pointing right, Lap 3... arrow pointing left. There was also a volunteer loudly instructing everyone which lane meant what. I kept to the right and shuffled/walked along. Eventually, the route got close enough for me to see the lights of the finish and to hear Mike Reilly's voice. In about 45 minutes that would be me.

The course looped around the Capital Mall area and then out around the back side of the capital through the park. There was a small out and back section with timing strips (this is how they were making sure everyone did their laps). I continued on and eventually made it to the split. I kept right again and was tortured with having to go ever so close to the finish. 

This time, as I neared the back side of the Capital, I saw HS on the opposite side of the street making his way to the finish. I ran over and gave him a kiss and apologized for taking so long (I realized how hard this day had been on him). I wiped away a few tears and shuffled off. Finally making it to the split and veering left. Before entering the finishers area a volunteer confirmed I was on my third and final loop. I said yes and started to run.

Here's one of HS's pics of me coming up to the finish.
I really felt like I was running much faster than I was LOL

Since I didn't want to cross the line at the same time as another athlete and have my moment ruined, I started running as fast as I could. I felt like I had wings on my feet (HS's video shows different LOL). I ran as hard as I could, separating myself from the lady behind me. I crossed the line and threw up my arms and heard a female voice "Tracy Pengilly from Stockton, California, You. Are. An. IRONMAN!" 


It didn't register immediately that that wasn't Mike Reilly's voice. Honestly, at that moment I was just glad to be finished. I had set out to complete this race and I did.

Post Race

With the extra long transition distances, this 140.6 mile race came in at 141.98 on my Garmin. I'm not ready to commit to doing a full IRONMAN again but I'm also not ready to say this was my last. 

As hard as this race was, I just can get enough of this feeling...


The finish line area seemed a bit chaotic. I had to search for someone to give me a finisher medal. Thankfully they pointed me to the people giving out the finisher hats and shirts and I found the post race photographer. According to the Internet...yeah, I know...there were food trucks at the finish line feeding athletes. Either I completely missed them or they were gone by the time I finished, but I didn't see any food trucks. 

Finally got my hands on a medal

Typically, at the end of a long race, HS has already picked up my bike and gear. However, being that the finish was downtown, he didn't want to risk having his truck broken into. We headed back to the stadium to get my stuff. It was odd coming back to the stadium. It seemed like it had been ages since I was last here.


HS came down to the field to help me collect everything. He offered to go by himself so I didn't have to walk, but I wanted to go into the stadium one last time :-)

My poor bike covered in Gatorade and dirt

A few last pics...

Finisher swag! Worth every mile.

Life (leg) savers...made recovery so much better

This race has great potential so I hope it sticks around for a while. Next year I plan on coming back as a volunteer after that...who knows :-)





Wednesday, October 12, 2022

IRONMalaise

I was going to write something about nine weeks ago...this is as far as I got.

So, last October, my attempt at a redemption race that would put me back on the road was sidelined by a bomb cyclone. Ironically, after that deluge of rain, California has been pretty dry. I am about eleven weeks from the event that was canceled last year and I am struggling.  

Just a bit of rain in 2021

And that was the end of that post. Actually, I can't call it a post because I didn't post it. I just left the words to stagnate in draft status. The sad thing is that I used to really enjoy writing my blog. This year, though, something is definitely different. 

Last week was the IRONMAN World Championships in Kona. Something that I used to dream about being able to do. Normally, I would be devouring all the posts and photos about the competitors and their bikes and the race. This year I found myself scrolling by with out even much of a pause. I have even less interest in the race I am supposed to do in about 2 weeks and this is causing concern. The Facebook posts about IRONMAN California seem to cause me a lot of anxiety, so I've been trying to avoid looking at those too.

Back to this post, I was going to start off by saying I am struggling with a feeling of malaise, but since I wanted to make sure I was using the term correctly, I looked it up. 

The dictionary definition says:

ma·laise
/məˈlāz/
noun
a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify.
"a general air of malaise"

The definition didn't seem to exactly fit how I was feeling but it seemed close so I kept looking until I found something on WebMD. 

"If you have a sense of malaise, you may not feel quite right, but you might be hard-pressed to put your fingers on exactly what's bothering you. It's not a condition, but a set of symptoms linked to some other problem. When you're in the grip of it, you might have fatigue, pain, and a lack of interest in your usual activities."

Ok, here's my list of symptoms:

  • Uneasiness - CHECK (I have an IRONMAN in two weeks!)
  • Fatigue - CHECK  (I have an IRONMAN in two weeks!)
  • Pain - CHECK  (I have an IRONMAN in two weeks!)
  • Lack of interest in usual activities - CHECK (But I have no idea why.)

The last symptom is the one that bothers me the most. What happened to my interest in training? What happened to my interest in triathlons? What happened to my interest in writing my book?

My triathlon based novel has gone untouched for several weeks

These are all things I used to enjoy and now it's all I can do just to get through a workout. I think I'm mentally worn down from basically two years of training and no reward. After last year's race was canceled due to the weather, I switched gears to running for a few months and that helped take my mind off of triathlon training. Eventually, I restarted my IRONMAN training plan and was less than enthused. 

ILLNESS & INJURY

Of course, during this second round of IRONMAN California training, I caught COVID and was down for a bit (I completed a post about my COVID experience but never posted it. LOL It is now posted HERE). The marathon I was training for had to be done virtually because I was still testing positive. 


Then in June I managed to break my pinky toe which kept me from running for a bit (I did put in a lot more time on the bike trainer though).


Last but not least, with only three weeks to go, I stepped of a curb, twisted my ankle and foot and somehow managed to scrape up the top, bottom and side of one hand. The hand looked worse in the beginning, but the foot definitely felt worse. I've been moving my workouts around to buy me a little more time before I attempt running again but there is still a noticeable pain in the arch of my foot and sometimes my ankle. It's not like I'm going to set any records on the run, but I am prepared for a much slower than normal pace.

Slightly swollen

LOOKING FORWARD

Ok, so I am now a few days closer to race day because I couldn't find the enthusiasm to finish this post until today, October 12, 2022...ten years and five days since I completed my very first triathlon, the Golden State Triathlon. Coincidentally, the swim at the Golden State was in the American River just down stream from the start of IRONMAN California. 

On the bike at the 2012 Golden State Triathlon

So, I've done some soul searching and have decided to make finishing and enjoying the race my #1 and #2 goals. I am abandoning any unrealistic goals such as beating either of my previous IRONMAN finish times. Let's be real,  I was 6-7 years younger and several pounds lighter. On top of that, I have no idea what my fitness level truly is. With the illness and injuries and altered training I have no idea what to expect.

Looking for that finish line high one more time!

Here is what I hope to accomplish in order to consider this race a success:

1) Finish 💪

2) Have fun 😁 (Better be smiling in the race photos!)

3) Don't freak out on the bike 😱 (Proving myself on the bike is the reason I signed up for this race).

4) Sub 13:00 hour finish time 👌


Here's looking forward to great weather and an even better race report!