Feeling Selfish

I have often read that triathlon is a selfish sport. I would be lying if I didn't say there was some truth in that (OK, maybe a lot of truth). I am very, very fortunate...my hubby is more than willing to go to swim practice with me and ride with me and follow me around on his bike when I run. This Saturday, however, I realized just how selfish this sport is...

Cycling Workout

My coach scheduled a 3-1/2 hour ride for Saturday (Thank you Coach K for taking it easy on me). I put together a route in the hills that would get me to about 3-1/4+ hours depending on my pace (I decided to add Stony Creek...my own mini-Chalk Hill). I shared this route with a co-worker who wanted to ride with me and HS. He organized a group ride with other staff. Since all I wanted to do was ride for a certain amount of time today, I wasn't too concerned with pace...just get me to three and a half, or close to it :-)

What I hadn't planned on was a half hour stop in Ione and then having to skip Stony Creek because apparently I was the only one that wanted to do it. This is where the "selfish" part starts...I need to ride 3.5 hours. I don't care if you need to get home. I don't care if you don't like my route (did anyone even LOOK at my map?). If you want to ride with me you have to do things MY way! LOL

Now THAT is selfish! ha ha

So after that ride, I have decided that I won't be doing anymore group rides until after Vineman. It will just be me and HS and anybody else that agrees to my terms and conditions (in other words, my distance, time and pace). Don't get me wrong, I truly enjoy riding in a group and I intend to get back to group rides after the race. I am just not willing to jeopardize the race in order to ride with my buddies...so selfish ;-)

Running Workout

As with every Saturday (except last Saturday due to the century ride), today was a brick workout. This was the third time hopping off the bike and attempting to run after the same doing the "Wallace Loop"...and it was my fastest to date. 

I am also happy to report that there was no crying during this run. Last time I ran for 30 minutes following this ride, I started crying when HS drove past me. I was just simply overwhelmed by how much I love that guy... especially when he is willing to drive around for half an hour while his crazy wife runs up and down hills.

Of course, crying while you run is good practice for the actual race. It can be hard to catch your breath when you're running and crying at the same time, but I've learned to master it. I cried during Avenue of the Vines last year after I injured myself and decided the best thing to do was to keep running. I cried both times I did Barb's Race...heck, I was crying because complete strangers were cheering me on (it didn't matter that they were cheering for everyone). I cried during my very first marathon (33 laps around McKinley Park)...towards the end of the race, more and more familiar faces showed up in the rain to support me. Each time I came around that corner and saw another person, I started crying all over again!

Overwhelmed that anyone beside HS would drive to Sacramento and stand in the
rain to watch me run around the park 33 times

Heck, I'm crying now as I write this...

It blows me away that I have people in my life that will stand for hours, that will stand in the rain, that will follow me in their truck for 4 hours while I ride my bike. I cannot tell all of you how much that means to me. I also cannot explain how selfish I feel when it seems like the training and racing becomes all about me. 

As I said, I started crying as I was writing this. HS came over to comfort me and I explained that I was worried about putting him through all of this and not being able to finish Vineman. What if all this craziness and selfishness is for naught?  I hate to think of the possibility and will instead remain positive that I will drag my ass over the finish line no matter what it takes!